Thursday, August 20, 2015
On Monday, I went to a wake…..
It is quite easy for me to write/rant about politics, especially with the circus of the last decade, or business, since our economy has never recovered from 2009, or even that of writing fictional stories with the biggest problem simply of finding the time for such endeavors. However, when it comes to very personal matters the difficulty is painful and most of the time put off with some made up justification for not writing. Nevertheless, on Monday, I went to a wake.
It seems that I go to wakes and funerals more frequently now. I think wakes and Funerals are important as they will let family and friends know that everyone shares the loss that is being experienced. This particular one was difficult. It was difficult not because the deceased was an Icon of the community. Not because he was a really Good person. Not because it was moved from the Funeral Home to a Church to accommodate the mass of people. Not because of the seven children, twenty six grandchildren, and thirty four great grandchildren. And, certainly not because the deceased was ninety-four years old.
It was difficult because his older brother, another friend of mine for over fifty years, was sitting in a pew a few feet away from the casket of his brother, attended to by two of his sons, and didn’t recognize me, nor anyone else. It was difficult because one realizes very quickly that time passes extremely quick and then, in some cases, slows to almost a stop, a crawl that is a period of time both inhumane and intolerable not only for the elderly but for those close enough to touch but not feel the imminence of death.
Difficult because those, regardless of age, that are full of life suddenly suffer a fall that puts them into an assisted living experience that they despise to even the extent of attempting escapes; make numerous phone calls for help, want to be anywhere other than where they find themselves. Difficult for if not a physical fall the insidious disease of Alzheimer’s and somehow the difficulty of care becomes choices that no one wants to make for there is no good answer. Difficult because the emotional stress to family and especially friends can’t be exhausted but burns daily and ignites at unexpected times.
The admission that time never stops. The recognition that preparations must be made for unlike large families described, one best do some self-preparation. The realization that another day will bring another wake….