On Monday, I went to a wake…..
It is quite easy for me to write/rant about politics,
especially with the circus of the last decade, or business, since our economy
has never recovered from 2009, or even that of writing fictional stories with
the biggest problem simply of finding the time for such endeavors. However, when it comes to very personal
matters the difficulty is painful and most of the time put off with some made
up justification for not writing.
Nevertheless, on Monday, I went to a wake.
It seems that I go to wakes and funerals more frequently
now. I think wakes and Funerals are
important as they will let family and friends know that everyone shares the
loss that is being experienced. This
particular one was difficult. It was
difficult not because the deceased was an Icon of the community. Not because he
was a really Good person. Not because it was moved from the Funeral Home to a Church
to accommodate the mass of people. Not because of the seven children, twenty
six grandchildren, and thirty four great grandchildren. And, certainly not because the deceased was
ninety-four years old.
It was difficult because his older brother, another friend
of mine for over fifty years, was sitting in a pew a few feet away from the
casket of his brother, attended to by two of his sons, and didn’t recognize me,
nor anyone else. It was difficult
because one realizes very quickly that time passes extremely quick and then, in
some cases, slows to almost a stop, a crawl that is a period of time both inhumane and intolerable
not only for the elderly but for those close enough to touch but not feel the imminence
of death.
Difficult because those, regardless of age, that are full of
life suddenly suffer a fall that puts them into an assisted living experience
that they despise to even the extent of attempting escapes; make numerous phone
calls for help, want to be anywhere other than where they find themselves. Difficult for if not a physical fall the insidious
disease of Alzheimer’s and somehow the difficulty of care becomes choices that
no one wants to make for there is no good answer. Difficult because the emotional stress to
family and especially friends can’t be exhausted but burns daily and ignites at
unexpected times.
The admission that time never stops. The recognition that preparations must be
made for unlike large families described, one best do some
self-preparation. The realization that
another day will bring another wake….
